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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440001">Cut My Hair</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DroppedAllTheseOreos/pseuds/DroppedAllTheseOreos'>DroppedAllTheseOreos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kamen Rider Ex-Aid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Questioning character, Saki is an Egg, Trans Character, in the gender sense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:35:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DroppedAllTheseOreos/pseuds/DroppedAllTheseOreos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Saki and her history of giving herself haircuts</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Graphite &amp; Momose Saki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cut My Hair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>my friend and I had complaints about Saki's haircut when we first saw her and I ended up writing the base of this to explain it lol</p><p>Title from Cavetown's This is Home</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The second Saki pulled the scissors away and looked up, she realized she'd made a horrible mistake. The uneven, way too short bangs that greeted her in the mirror made her press her lips together in frustration. It was exams season, and she was stressed as hell. She needed, well, she really <em>wanted</em> to get into her university of choice. But her grades up to this point were average at best, and her class advisor was pretty sure she couldn't pass the entrance exams.</p><p>Whenever she got stressed, she usually cut her hair. Nothing too drastic. Just snipping split ends, or trimming weight off the bottom with her scissors held vertically, like she'd seen in her aunt's salon. It felt meditative, just focusing on the sounds of the scissors and watching the hair fall into the bag she'd set up on her lap. Her head always felt physically and mentally lighter when she did it too. As if her stress dropped out of her mind as the locks fell into the garbage. After she gave in to the urge to cut some hair back in middle school during finals week, it became a meditative ritual for her to fall back on in dire times of stress.</p><p>These exams were more overwhelming than ever before. So much so, that Saki wanted something to drastically change. Her parents wouldn't approve of her coming down for breakfast with her hair completely hacked off like she wanted to. Even if it was to shoulder length, they might get upset. It was only once back in middle school, but they caught her stress chopping her hair to something chin-length and ripped the scissors from her hands. She was sent to her aunt's salon to get her hair cleaned up from the sloppy cuts she'd made and scolded to never do it again, and if she wanted to get her hair cut, her aunt would have to be the one to cut it. After that, she only did it in secret, small amounts very late at night. It never felt as cathartic as getting rid of a huge chunk, but it was enough to comfort her over the years until now.</p><p>And at this point, in her sleep-deprived state, she could care less if her parents would throw a fit tomorrow, she was going to chop something off. She'd been growing all her hair out at the same length for a while now, and the sections that fell in front of her face were getting out of hand. Hairbands and clips weren't enough anymore, and she was getting testy. Around 3 in the morning, a few nights before exams, she finally snapped. Her hair kept getting in the way of her studying and she had enough of brushing it out of her face. Cutting herself some bangs seemed pretty ideal. Her parents probably wouldn't throw a fit if she did a decent job, too. In a huff, she set up a mirror on her desk and a tiny trashcan on her lap, settling into her chair before pulling open her desk drawer and drawing out her trusty scissors.</p><p>She realized she forgot a comb but didn't want to waste any more time on this and just used her fingers to messily brush out her hair. After positioning it all in her best guess of what would be her bangs, she hung her head over the trash. She readied her scissors slightly above her eyebrows and opened the blades. There was a moment of hesitation as she moved the scissors higher and lower on the strands, not sure what the right spot was. Eventually, her patience ran out, and she started cutting around her first choice.</p><p>Now, she could only think "this was a mistake" as she stared at the uneven, ridiculously short bangs. They made her forehead stand out way too much. She was already a little self-conscious about it, but somehow these bangs made her look worse than when she used a hairband to pull everything back. She used the few hairdressing tips she picked up from reading things on the internet to even and thin the bangs out to make it look less like a solid line across her forehead.</p><p>With a heavy sigh, Saki started cleaning up the hair that didn't make it into the trash can and pulled her hair back with a thick headband. Surprisingly, it could cover up the worst of her mistake when adjusted to sit just right.  Curious about what was left of her hair, she gathered it up in one hand as if she was making a ponytail and gasped. It felt amazingly light now, which was simultaneously a relief and a dilemma. Looking into the bin made her eyes widen even more in surprise. Saki had thick hair, so she usually had to cut a lot to make any kind of difference. This was way more than she had ever cut since her middle school attempt. Despite her dislike of them, she decided that wearing a headband until her hair grew out again was the lesser of two evils. She put aside her worries and turned in for the night.</p><p>Fortunately, everything after her terrible haircut went without a hitch. She managed to scrape by on the exams and score just enough to get into her school of choice. The paranoia of anyone seeing the awful mistake that was her bangs kept her on point with wearing headbands and finding other creative ways to keep it disguised. Her parents gave her some suspicious looks, but at home, she wore the fancy headband her mother bought her for applying face products. She never really used them, but she wore it to doubly hide her bangs and pretend she was "definitely" using the moisturizers and cleansers her mom kept nagging her about.</p><p>A few weeks later, the bangs were about halfway to her eyebrows. She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, getting ready to shower, wondering if she needed to hide them anymore. On one hand, she still hadn't gotten used to wearing headbands. But on the other, The hair was still way shorter than she hoped it would be by now and she hadn't figured out how to explain it to her parents. Saki pouted at her reflection for a few moments, weighing out her options. She couldn't decide and gave herself more time to ruminate on it in the shower.</p><p>As she stepped out, she'd pretty much come to the decision that she'd hide it for a little longer. But she moved to the mirror to check on her hair one last time before she made it final. The cut was still pretty badly uneven from her attempts to layer and thin the bangs to look relatively acceptable. But now that it was damp, tousled, a little wavy from the humidity, and the rest of her long hair was pulled back and obscured by the towel, she sort of looked like one of the boys at her school and she gasped.</p><p>Something about this felt, <em>right.</em> Saki's brow furrowed momentarily as she stared into the slightly fogged glass. She couldn't really put her finger on it, as she turned her face to admire the look. Her hair had never been this short before. She remembered the disapproving looks her parents gave her when they caught her.  After that they always seemed to put an emphasis on 'sweetie, you're beautiful the way you are' whenever she brought up changing her style or pointing out boys she wanted to look like in Junon magazines. Eventually, she just stopped bringing it up with them and stayed the way she was, uncomfortable in her skin. Her last attempt to talk about it was at her aunt's. During an appointment, she brought a model magazine from the lobby and pointed to one of the boys in it, saying she wanted her hair like that. Aunty discouraged her, saying it wouldn't fit someone with a cute, round face like hers. Hearing rejection from the one person her parents had given power over her hair was so discouraging that she almost dropped wanting short haircuts forever.</p><p>And from all the pressure of their expectations, part of the stress relief from cutting her hair came from the small feeling of rebellion against what her family had been telling her all her life. It gave her control over one of the things they tried to take from her. Looking at her reflection now, she never knew that something so minor could make such a difference in how she felt about herself. She grinned at herself, feeling confident and energized for the first time in a while, before putting the makeup headband on and heading out. She'd hide it for just a little longer. Maybe when university started up, she'd be okay with it. New year, new Saki, after all.</p>
<hr/><p>It had been about two weeks since Momose Saki disappeared from the world. Her bangs grew out to a respectable length and she got to enjoy almost half a year free from the clutches of the dreaded headband in university before she was gone. Slightly shaking his head at the memories, he looked back at his faint reflection in the full-length windows of Kuroto's office. Graphite never used a human form since his completion. He knew he had one; Poppy did after all, and Parad naturally looked humanoid, so the only logical conclusion was that he had one, too.</p><p>Steadying himself, he watched his reflection as he tried to take his human form. Green pixels scattered over his body before it was engulfed with a bright light and he had to look away. When he opened his eyes again, it was to the sight of a human man. Ignoring the wardrobe, he could always work on that later, he slowly approached the window. He turned his head to observe this new face from every angle. A familiar, tight feeling of this being <em>right</em> gripped his chest. There wasn't any logic as to why it did, except for a strong surge of memories and feelings he could only describe as "Saki" rushing through his head.</p><p>Absentmindedly running a hand through his hair, he couldn't help but smile at the feel of it. There was a faint sensation of his other hand wrapped around scissors that was so familiar. He closed his eyes, picturing them. Old, worn, purchased years ago from a stationary store, the red grips with faded flower patterns resting in his palm delicately. His fingers tightened around them in his mind's eye, then, taking a small inhale, reverently set them aside. He opened his eyes again, giving a little smile to himself, then turned away from that chapter of his life. It was unexpected, but maybe he was exactly the kind of "new Saki" they needed to be this year.</p>
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